Tuesday, February 9, 2016

Can You Eat It?

"Hey Uncle Dylan! Michael has finished helping me with my math homework," Jerron, the six-year-old, announced to his favorite uncle. Jerron's mother was working late, and his father was on a weekend assignment for the television station.
"That's great!" Dylan said. The McQueen's were babysitting the youngster until the morning as his new daughter/niece, Deidre was curled up on a nearby overstuffed chair reading a teen novel, and his son, Michael, was upstairs listening to some music. Dylan's wife, Janelle, was having a three-way telephone conversation with her parents in the master bedroom.  
"I have to ask you something very, very important," Jerron stated. He sat next to Dylan on the large sofa.
"What is it?" Dylan quizzed. He reached for the glass of water before him and began to take a few gulps.
"What is a pussy, and can you eat it?" Jerron asked all at once.
Dylan coughed and sprayed his water from the shock of his nephew's question. Deidre giggled uncontrollably from behind her paperback novel.
"Why do you ask that question?" Dylan asked.
"Well, one night Mommy and Daddy were in their bedroom. I woke up to use the bathroom. She was crying and kept saying, 'Eat that pussy.' 'Eat that pussy.'
Stumbling for the right words to say against Deidre's now audible laughter, Dylan replied, "I'm going to let my sister and brother-in-law explain that to you. I think it's time for you to go to bed, young man. They will pick you up early in the morning.
"Okay. Thanks, uncle," Jerron said. "He then turned to Deidre and asked, "What's so funny, cousin Deidre?"
With tears of laughter rolling down her cheeks, Deidre replied, "You."






Until next time, keep praising HIS name!
Sir Charles








***This blog has reached 60,000 page views! Thank you!***

Soft cover and ebooks of my novels
"In The Black," "Behind Every Dark Cloud – Second Edition" and "Preacher Man"
are available at www.xlibris.com Charles Carroll Lee    
“I enjoy your blog postings so much, that I have linked it to my blog at www.thesavannahjpublications.com/” ~ Savannah J

Friday, February 5, 2016

Where Is Your Laptop?

Yelling from the other end of the corridor, Samuel Harlow, CEO of a non-profit agency, stated, "Dennis Johnson, come fix my laptop!"
"Fix it yourself!" Dennis Johnson, the IT manager, mumbled in return. Emerging from his office and looking in the direction of the CEO, Dennis announced, "Be there in a second."
As his stomach performed somersaults, Dennis sauntered up the corridor, stuck his head in Janelle McQueen's office and said, "Lunch and drinks in fifteen minutes. I'm going to need a drink after I fix Harlow's laptop - again."
"Okay. We are not supposed to drink during work hours," she replied.
"If anyone worked for Samuel Harlow, they would drink at work, too. Be back in a few," Dennis countered.


Walking past the vacant secretary's desk, Dennis entered the CEO's office. "Yes, sir. How may I help you?" Dennis asked.
"My laptop is broken again. It won't come on. I thought you fixed it the last time. What seems to be the problem, Dennis?" Samuel asked in a harsh tone.
"Let me have a look. Would you mind letting me sit in your chair?"
"No, not at all," Samuel replied, as he and Dennis traded places.
Dennis glared at his supervisor's work area. He became puzzled. Dennis looked to his left and to his right. He then took a quick glance underneath Samuel's desk. Dennis mumbled," I can't fucking believe this." After he took a deep breath, Dennis asked, "Mr. Harlow, where is your laptop?"
"Huh?"
"Did I stutter muther fucker?" Dennis thought. He turned toward Samuel and repeated, "Where is your laptop?"
"What do you mean?"
Waving his hand over the place where the laptop should be, Dennis offered, "There is nothing here but your docking station. Look at this....it's only your docking station....there is no laptop. There's no laptop to turn on!" in a direct tone. "Did you forget to take your damn pills?" Dennis wanted to ask.
"Ohhhhhhhhh! My bad. I just remembered. I left it at home by mistake. I have to make a major presentation to the board of directors on tomorrow, and I would lose my head if it wasn't connected to my shoulders," Samuel stated in an attempt to add some humor to the situation.
"Okay," Dennis said as he removed himself from Samuel's desk and began to exit the office. He turned to the CEO and announced from the corridor, "Because of this situation, I'm taking a long lunch with Janelle. Don't ask us for a leave slip, either. I mean it."


Dennis shouted from the corridor toward his co-worker's office, "Janelle! Get your pocketbook and let's go to lunch! Hurry up!"
Janelle obeyed her favorite co-worker's command and could hardly wait to learn what was in store for Dennis Johnson.



Until next time, keep praising HIS name!
Sir Charles




***This blog has reached 60,000 page views! Thank you!***

Soft cover and ebooks of my novels
"In The Black," "Behind Every Dark Cloud – Second Edition" and "Preacher Man"
are available at www.xlibris.com Charles Carroll Lee    
“I enjoy your blog postings so much, that I have linked it to my blog at www.thesavannahjpublications.com/” ~ Savannah J





Thursday, January 28, 2016

Add Me...


I think I found this text message somewhere on social media.  Short, simple and funny. Well, I think so.

Peace and Blessings Always!
Sir Charles