Wednesday, July 8, 2015

Siri, I Need Directions

"How can I help you?"
"Siri, I need directions to South Carolina!" Samuel Harlow shouted toward his new iPhone that was resting on his cluttered desk.

The CEO of a non-profit agency decided to multi-task and compose a few emails while listening for directions. Minutes earlier, Samuel had instructed his staff members Janelle McQueen and Dennis Johnson to clear his secretary's desk. Mrs. Stephenson had decided that Samuel was too much to bear as a supervisor and would rather take her chances in the unemployment line.

Placing some manuals into a large box, Dennis asked, "Why is he talking so loud?"
"I don't know. Maybe he's going deaf," Janelle replied as she emptied the desk drawers into large containers.

"You are not moving," Siri stated as a matter of fact.
"Siri, I said that I need directions to South Carolina!" Samuel demanded.
In a clear and distinct tone, the software repeated, "You are not moving."
"I know I'm not moving. I want directions to South Carolina to visit my grandchildren."
"But you are not moving. It appears that you are in a stationary position."
Puzzled, Samuel asked, "You are real?"
"Yes. Are you?"
"Look, just give me the damn directions to South Carolina!"
"You are not moving."
"You dumb ass bitch! Give me the directions!"
Siri replied, "I would never speak to you like that."
Changing his tone from frustration to amazement, Samuel stated, "I'm still surprised that you're real."
"I was just thinking the same thing," Siri replied to Janelle and Dennis' amusement.

Until next time, keep praising HIS name,
Sir Charles

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