Thursday, July 16, 2015

Thank You For Calling

"I told you that you have the wrong number," Dylan McQueen announced into the landline phone.
"Are you sure?" asked the nasally woman.
Dylan replied, "Yes! For the umpteenth time," as he quickly ended the call.

His teenage son, Michael, and his new teenage daughter/niece, Deidre, were sitting on the nearby sofa. Michael, the math honors student, was helping Deidre with her math homework. Dylan and Janelle formally adopted Deidre from Janelle's sister. The McQueen's have no idea where Janelle's sister is residing or who is Deidre's birth father. Deidre was left, by her mother, to fend for herself in a low-income housing community. Fortunately, Janelle had a "funny feeling" about her family members and found her lovely niece sitting alone in a center block apartment. Janelle was in the next room working on a sorority project and sipping a glass of wine.

The landline phone rung once again. Dylan studied the caller ID and realized it was the same caller - much to his dismay.
Janelle shouted from the next room, "Who is that keep calling our number?"
"Let me answer it, Dad," Michael offered. He doesn't like seeing his father being annoyed. Dylan appreciates his son's over-protectiveness.
"No, Buddy. I got it. She's called ten times already, and I gave her the correct number to call - all ten times. I know it's only a digit difference, but dang it. I'm going to fix her this time."
Moving his laptop closer to the phone, Dylan cleared his throat, concentrated on disguising his voice and then announced into the phone with an upbeat and booming voice, "Hello! Thank you for calling the Sheraton Hotel! This is Dylan McQueen! How may I direct your call?"

Michael and Deidre exploded into silent laughter. Dylan's disguised voice reminded the teens of a television announcer.

The constant caller stated, "Thank goodness. I finally dialed the right number. This is Mrs. Edna Hill Cozart. I need to make reservations, please."
"Why sure! I can help you with that, Mrs. Cozart," Dylan offered as he moved his fingers across the keyboard. "Now, when is your arrival date?"
"Wednesday the 25th at noon."
Continuing to strum his fingers across the keyboard, Dylan repeated the day and time of the nasally woman's arrival. He stated, "Great! We have plenty of vacancies, and I can put you in our presidential suite. A continental breakfast, wake up call, a massage and spa treatment are just some of the things included with that - all for the price of one of our regular rooms."
"Wonderful!" she exclaimed.
Smiling at his son and daughter while giving them the hush signal, Dylan asked the caller, "When is your check out date? And will you need a rental car during your stay with us?"
"I would like to check out on Sunday afternoon. Why yes. Yes, I would like a rental."
Moving his fingers across the keyboard, Dylan replied, "Sounds great. A car will be ready for you upon your arrival. Just tell the front desk staff during check-in. Now, all I need is your credit card number to hold the room."

The woman gave Dylan her credit card number while he pretended to log the information into his computer. After a brief pause, he asked, "Will you need anything else before I give you your confirmation number?"
"No, that will be all."
"Your confirmation number is SH9874521. Mrs. Cozart, we look forward to seeing you on Wednesday the 25th. And thank you for staying at the Sheraton Hotel."
"Thank you."
"You're welcome," Dylan offered as he ended the call. "Well, that takes care of that," Dylan mentioned toward the laughing teens.
"Dylan?!? I'm surprised at you! I can't believe you did that!" Janelle shouted from the next room.

Until next time, keep praising HIS name,
Sir Charles

***This blog has reached 50,000 page views! Thank you!***

Soft cover and ebooks of my novels
"In The Black," "Behind Every Dark Cloud – Second Edition" and "Preacher Man"
are available at www.xlibris.com Charles Carroll Lee    
“I enjoy your blog postings so much, that I have linked it to my blog at www.thesavannahjpublications.com/” ~ Savannah J

Wednesday, July 8, 2015

Siri, I Need Directions



"How can I help you?"
"Siri, I need directions to South Carolina!" Samuel Harlow shouted toward his new iPhone that was resting on his cluttered desk.

The CEO of a non-profit agency decided to multi-task and compose a few emails while listening for directions. Minutes earlier, Samuel had instructed his staff members Janelle McQueen and Dennis Johnson to clear his secretary's desk. Mrs. Stephenson had decided that Samuel was too much to bear as a supervisor and would rather take her chances in the unemployment line.

Placing some manuals into a large box, Dennis asked, "Why is he talking so loud?"
"I don't know. Maybe he's going deaf," Janelle replied as she emptied the desk drawers into large containers.

"You are not moving," Siri stated as a matter of fact.
"Siri, I said that I need directions to South Carolina!" Samuel demanded.
In a clear and distinct tone, the software repeated, "You are not moving."
"I know I'm not moving. I want directions to South Carolina to visit my grandchildren."
"But you are not moving. It appears that you are in a stationary position."
Puzzled, Samuel asked, "You are real?"
"Yes. Are you?"
"Look, just give me the damn directions to South Carolina!"
"You are not moving."
"You dumb ass bitch! Give me the directions!"
Siri replied, "I would never speak to you like that."
Changing his tone from frustration to amazement, Samuel stated, "I'm still surprised that you're real."
"I was just thinking the same thing," Siri replied to Janelle and Dennis' amusement.

Until next time, keep praising HIS name,
Sir Charles

***This blog has reached 50,000 page views! Thank you!***

Soft cover and ebooks of my novels
"In The Black," "Behind Every Dark Cloud – Second Edition" and "Preacher Man"
are available at www.xlibris.com Charles Carroll Lee    
“I enjoy your blog postings so much, that I have linked it to my blog at www.thesavannahjpublications.com/” ~ Savannah J