Wednesday, July 9, 2014

More Misprints in Church Bulletins

With over 4,900 pageviews to "Misprints in Church Bulletins," I have decided to publish more "Misprints in Church Bulletins." I hope you enjoy them.

 1. Announcement in the church bulletin for a National Fasting and Prayer Conference: "The cost for attending the Fasting and Prayer Conference includes meals."

 2. Miss Charlene Mason sang, "I Will Not Pass This Way Again," giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.

 3. "Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your husbands."

 4. Next Sunday is the family hayride and bonfire at the Fowlers. Bring your own hot dogs and guns. Friends are welcome! Everyone come for a fun time.

 5. The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been canceled due to a conflict.

 6. The sermon this morning: "Jesus Walks on the Water." The sermon for tonight: "Searching for Jesus."

 7. Next Thursday, there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.

 8. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say "Hell" to someone who doesn't care much about you.

 9. Don't let worry kill you off - let the church help.

 10. A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.

 11. Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

 12. Attend and you will hear an excellent speaker and heave a healthy lunch.

 13. The church will host an evening of fine dining, superb entertainment, and gracious hostility.

 14. Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 p.m. - prayer and medication to follow.

 15. This evening at 7 p.m., there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.

 16. Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B.S. is done.

 17. The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday morning.

 18. The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 p.m. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

 Reprinted from: http://www.oocities.org/mariostudies/FUNNYMISPRINTS.htm and www.klenger.net

 Until next time, keep praising HIS name!
 Sir Charles

 Soft cover and ebooks of my novels In The Black, Behind Every Dark Cloud – Second Edition and Preacher Man are available at www.iuniverse.com 
 Charles Carroll Lee 

" I enjoy your blog postings so much, that I have linked it to my blog at http://www.thesavannahjpublications.com"~ Savannah J., Author

No comments:

Post a Comment