Wednesday, April 30, 2014

Where Are My Teeth?

(Please welcome guest blogger, Deborah Irene Davis.)

Several months ago, I was fitted for a pair of dentures or false teeth as my grandmother used to call them. The dentist told me that I would have to get used to and learn to eat with them in my mouth. However, that is too uncomfortable for me. When it is time for me to eat, I will slip my dentures out of my mouth and slide them into my pocket or handbag. Naturally, I forget to put them back in. Also, I have lost them on quite a few occasions. Usually, my dentures are in another handbag or in the bathroom...or even at work. It's a relief that the night cleaning staff hasn't thrown my teeth in the trash.

A few days ago, there was a news report about a man taking his girlfriend's dentures right out of her mouth. The man's opinion was that since they had broken up, and he had paid for them - he wanted them back. He claims that he only wanted to improve her smile and self-esteem. The girlfriend claims that he became too clingy after he had purchased the dentures. Well, that story was the main reason I saved and bought my own dentures. I can't imagine my boyfriend snatching my dentures right out of my head - especially after an argument.

After coming home on yesterday afternoon, I realized that I did not have my dentures with me. I took them out to eat lunch and did not put them back in. I searched my pockets, handbag and brief case - all to no avail. "Where are my teeth?" I shouted within my rancher home. Moments later my best friend called from her cell phone.
Slightly agitated, I said, "Hey!" into the phone.
Dian asked, "So, what are you doing?"
"Trying to find my damn teeth."
"Why? It's not like you keep them in your head."
Becoming more annoyed, I replied, "I know, but I don't want to keep losing them."
"Come outdoors," Dian commanded. She is always commanding me to do something.
"Why? I told you I'm busy looking for my teeth."
"Just come outdoors," Dian repeated.

Meeting Dian outdoors as she stood on my lawn, I wondered why she could not come indoors. I immediately noticed that Dian had a devious smile on her face.
I asked, "What is it?"
"So, you said that you can't find your teeth, huh?"
"Yes, that's right," I replied.
"Look down," Dian commanded once again.
"Oh, my goodness gracious alive! My teeth! My teeth! I've found them!" I shouted in the late afternoon breeze.
Dian continued, "Yes, I came by for a short visit and noticed that your lawn was smiling at me as I walked toward your front door."
Bending over to retrieve my dentures, I stated, "Thank you very much."
"No need to thank me. You may want to soak them in some Polident or something. A dog licked and peed on them as I was driving up," Dian stated.
"I have a warranty on them for accidents," I added.

Thanks Sir Charles for this opportunity.
All my best,
Deborah Irene Davis
           Check out some of  my photographs at http://www.imagesccl3.blogspot.com.

"I enjoy your blog postings so much, that I have linked it to my blog at http://www.thesavannahjpublications.com/" ~ Savannah J., Author

In The Black   ~    Preacher Man    ~    Behind Every Dark Cloud , The Second Edition
Available at www.xlibris.com, www.amazon.com, www.barnesandnoble.com - Charles Carroll Lee. Soft cover and ebook.


.

Wednesday, April 16, 2014

Do You Know Who I Am?

The sun was beginning to set as I arrived at the rehabilitation center. Marshall's wife, Liz, had informed me a few days ago that Marshall had a stroke after his recent weight loss surgery, and that he was suffering from some memory loss. Marshall's physician wanted him to make a complete recovery at this rehabilitation center.

I gingerly walked toward the immaculate building and took several deep breaths as I entered the tastefully decorated facility. A young Asian male was sitting at the front desk fielding phone calls from patient relatives. After he had finished his phone calls, he immediately asked how he can be of assistance. I identified myself and asked for Marshall's room number. Once I had received the room number and directions, I proceeded down the corridor with the shiny floors. "I should've worn my sunglasses," I said aloud.

When I had reached the end of the corridor, I could see Marshall sitting in the dining room with a plate of half-eaten food resting before him. He motioned me to enter the room. Immediately sitting beside him and remembering his memory loss, I asked in a whisper, "Do you know who I am?"
"Yes, I do. I remember you VERY well, Charles."
"Oh. I thought you had lost your memory," I stated.
"My memory is slowing returning, and there's some people you can never forget - like you. The doctor said that I will be as good as new in a few days," offered Marshall.
"Cool," I replied.
Marshall continued, "I'm ready to leave this place. Whether the doctors like it or not, I'm leaving here on Friday."
"You think so?" I asked.
"Yes. If they keep me here against my wishes, it will be kidnapping."
Ignoring my buddy's last statement, I asked, "How much weight are you trying to lose?"
Marshall replied, "At least one hundred and fifty pounds."
"One hundred and fifty pounds!" I exclaimed within the semi-crowded dining facility. "Wow, I hope I will recognize you the next time I see you. It looks like that will put you down to your kindergarten weight."
Sarcastically, Marshall replied, "No, Charles. It will put me down to what I was weighing when we were in college."
"Do you remember the name of our college?" 
Releasing a loud sigh, Marshall replied, "Yes, I do. We graduated from Virginia Union University." "That's good, Marshall."

Suddenly, a woman caught my attention as she entered the dining room. Marshall asked, "Who are you watching?"
I replied, "Liz is here."
With a puzzled look on his face, Marshall stated, "Who?"
"Liz. Your wife," I replied with great concern.
Shaking his head with a look of terror, Marshall stated, "No. I've never seen her before a day in my life."
"What? You don't remember your wife?" I exclaimed once again.
"Boy! I'm just playing! I know who she is. That was payback for coming here and being nosy."

Until next week, keep praising HIS name!
Sir Charles


"I enjoy your blog postings so much, that I have linked it to my blog at http://www.thesavannahjpublications.com/ ~ Savannah J., Author
Check out http://www.imagesccl3.blogspot.com for some of my interesting photographs.

In The Black   ~    Preacher Man    ~    Behind Every Dark Cloud , The Second Edition
Available at www.xlibris.com, www.amazon.com, www.barnesandnoble.com - Charles Carroll Lee. Soft cover and ebook.

Thursday, April 3, 2014

Big and Wide...Isn't All That (Choking and Gagging)

"It is way too big to fit into my mouth," Casandra stated as she sipped her hot coffee. We decided to meet at our favorite coffee shop and catch up on each other's lives.
"Too big?" I asked for clarification. The barista delivered my iced coffee and iced lemon pound cake. I politely thanked him and hoped that he did not hear Casandra's last statement.
"That's what I said. Every time I put that thing in my mouth, I feel like I'm choking - gagging," Casandra replied. She gauged my expression within the crowded coffee shop.
I quickly glanced around the establishment to see who was listening to our conversation. A gray-haired woman was sitting alone at a table next to Casandra and me. However, she appeared to be deep in thought. Once I was comfortable that everyone was engrossed in their electronic devices and cups of java and not paying us any attention, I continued, "I thought you had good gag reflexes."
"So did I, but that thing is too big for me. I have to stop a few times to catch my breath. And of course I have do 'it' everyday - I just can't stop doing it," Casandra stated with a devilish smile.
Returning a smile, I offered, "That's right. It's something that should be done everyday - regardless of how big it is. So, what's your plan?"
"I've been checking around town to see who has a smaller, slimmer one. I have one in mind already. I've had it once before - a while back. Having something big and wide in your mouth for a long time isn't all that."
I sarcastically replied, "Really?"
"Yes. Really. So, I have a plan," Casandra stated as a matter-of-fact.
After taking a large gulp of my coffee, I asked with hesitation, "And what will that be?"
"I'm going to the store on tomorrow and buy a new, sleek Philip's Supersonic Toothbrush. And I will throw that big, clunky electric toothbrush that I'm using now in the trash," Casandra replied with a hearty laugh. "No more choking or gagging for me," she added.
Joining her in laughter, the gray haired woman sitting at the next table stated," I was wondering where your conversation was going. That's the best laugh I've had all month."

Until next week, keep praising HIS name!
Sir Charles


"I enjoy your blog postings so much, that I have linked it to my blog at http://www.thesavannahjpublications.com/ ~ Savannah J., Author


In The Black   ~    Preacher Man    ~    Behind Every Dark Cloud , The Second Edition
Available at www.xlibris.com, www.amazon.com, www.barnesandnoble.com - Charles Carroll Lee. Soft cover and ebook.