Friday, August 30, 2013

Bovis Stercus

 (Let's welcome guest blogger, Mellandra Patterson. ~Sir Charles)

Hello! I am going to jump right into my story. I go out on a date with a new man, and it is an epic fail. Dressed in a form fitting coral dress that fell just above my knees with matching pumps and purse, Harry Blassingame and I strolled along the riverwalk canal plaza with the James River flowing beneath us. We had a wonderful view of the city's skyline. Everything was so nice as we walked near the water. During the evening, Harry stated that his budget is tight because he needs a new transmission for his aging car. I can appreciate that. So, we made our way to Long John Silver's Seafood Restaurant for an early dinner. It had been ages since I ate at this fast food establishment.

After leaving Long John Silver's, Harry drove me to his friend's house for drinks and to play some card games. En route to our destination, it was clearly obvious that his car needed a new transmission. When we had arrived at the house "in the hood," (and I have been in the hood before) I felt as though I needed to be dressed in jeans and sneakers - just in case some sh*t popped off.  Following some polite introductions, the card game began while the drinks poured freely from the bottles. Harry was throwing back drinks really hard during the lively game of spades. Suddenly, he stands at the table because he has to go to the bathroom. However, my date did not make it in time. Yes, Harry peed on himself.

Later that evening after cards and drinks and the smell of pee on Harry, we stopped at the nearest 7-11 convenience store so he could buy me a sandwich and a bottle of juice. Well actually, he buys me a juice and steals the sandwich. You know Harry is on a tight budget and all. And this was the first time that I have been involved in a robbery. Go figure.

I can laugh at it now. The only thing I was saying during this horrible date was "this is some bovis stercus (bull sh*t)". Thank you for this wonderful blogging opportunity, Sir Charles.

I am,
Mellandra Patterson

"Some take a smoke break, I take a 'Smile Network' break.  It’s healthier!"

 ~ Patricia Lewis Mills, Author of Caught Up and More Than A Dream


  In The Black



Preacher Man



and

Behind Every Dark Cloud - The Critically Acclaimed Novel - The Second Edition

Available at www.xlibris.com www.amazon.com www.barnesandnoble.com - Charles Carroll Lee. Soft cover and ebook.


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