Friday, August 30, 2013

Bovis Stercus

 (Let's welcome guest blogger, Mellandra Patterson. ~Sir Charles)

Hello! I am going to jump right into my story. I go out on a date with a new man, and it is an epic fail. Dressed in a form fitting coral dress that fell just above my knees with matching pumps and purse, Harry Blassingame and I strolled along the riverwalk canal plaza with the James River flowing beneath us. We had a wonderful view of the city's skyline. Everything was so nice as we walked near the water. During the evening, Harry stated that his budget is tight because he needs a new transmission for his aging car. I can appreciate that. So, we made our way to Long John Silver's Seafood Restaurant for an early dinner. It had been ages since I ate at this fast food establishment.

After leaving Long John Silver's, Harry drove me to his friend's house for drinks and to play some card games. En route to our destination, it was clearly obvious that his car needed a new transmission. When we had arrived at the house "in the hood," (and I have been in the hood before) I felt as though I needed to be dressed in jeans and sneakers - just in case some sh*t popped off.  Following some polite introductions, the card game began while the drinks poured freely from the bottles. Harry was throwing back drinks really hard during the lively game of spades. Suddenly, he stands at the table because he has to go to the bathroom. However, my date did not make it in time. Yes, Harry peed on himself.

Later that evening after cards and drinks and the smell of pee on Harry, we stopped at the nearest 7-11 convenience store so he could buy me a sandwich and a bottle of juice. Well actually, he buys me a juice and steals the sandwich. You know Harry is on a tight budget and all. And this was the first time that I have been involved in a robbery. Go figure.

I can laugh at it now. The only thing I was saying during this horrible date was "this is some bovis stercus (bull sh*t)". Thank you for this wonderful blogging opportunity, Sir Charles.

I am,
Mellandra Patterson

"Some take a smoke break, I take a 'Smile Network' break.  It’s healthier!"

 ~ Patricia Lewis Mills, Author of Caught Up and More Than A Dream


  In The Black



Preacher Man



and

Behind Every Dark Cloud - The Critically Acclaimed Novel - The Second Edition

Available at www.xlibris.com www.amazon.com www.barnesandnoble.com - Charles Carroll Lee. Soft cover and ebook.


Thursday, August 8, 2013

An Unexpected Passenger

(Join me in welcoming guest blogger, Lynda Dian Eggleston. ~ Sir Charles)

First of all, let me say how honored I am to write a blog posting for "The Smile Network with Sir
Charles." I have never done this sort of thing before. I have had the displeasure - I mean pleasure - of working with Charles for the last several years. Sometimes, he likes to play small practical jokes on me. However, I have found it necessary just to lift him up in prayer. Charles has already mentioned the following incident on Facebook. However, I would like to share just a couple of extra details.

Last week after a long and stressful day at the office, I gathered my belongings and left the building at the stroke of five. Most of my co-workers decided to stay for another hour or so, but not me. I had things to do - like go to prayer service at church. I am one of those church ladies that runs up and down the aisles praising the Lord. On a few occasions, I may do a "Wonder Woman" twirl if the Spirit hits me the right way. Then, I pass out. Some of my church members think it is because I do so much running and twirling. I like to think that it is because of the Holy Spirit.

While walking to my SUV in the surface parking lot across the street from my office building, I was interrupted by a call from my daughter. Deciding to multi-task, I answered the call and continued on my journey toward my vehicle. However, I felt as though someone was following me in broad daylight. I did not want to turn around in the middle of the street in fear that I would be hit by a car. The call with my daughter lasted for just a few quick seconds.

When I approached my vehicle, I unlocked it my remote keyless entry device and placed some items on the back seat. After a few moments of fumbling with the items, I took my position behind the steering wheel. And to my complete and utter surprise, I found Charles sitting in the passenger's seat. I gave him a puzzled look like he had just lost his everlasting mind.

Charles asked, "Can you give me a ride home to Petersburg?"
With my jaw near my chest, I replied, "Petersburg is twenty-five miles away." Pointing at my dirty windshield, I added, "Look, I'm going down the street and around the corner. Then, you're going to have to jump out - and find the rest of the way home.That's the best I can do for you," as we both released a hearty laugh.

I am just thankful Charles is not a carjacker or something.....well, he is a little crazy...and an unexpected passenger. Also, I keep some mace,pepper spray and a taser gun handy - just in case.

Thank you for reading and best regards,
Lynda Dian Eggleston

"Some take a smoke break, I take a 'Smile Network' break.  It’s healthier!"
 ~ Patricia Lewis Mills, Author


  In The Black


Preacher Man

and

Behind Every Dark Cloud - The Critically Acclaimed Novel - The Second Edition

Available at www.xlibris.com www.amazon.com www.barnesandnoble.com - Charles Carroll Lee. Soft cover and ebook.