Wednesday, February 20, 2013

She's A Country Bumpkin ( I Need A Hug)

Pig Cartoon"I haven't heard you mention Charmaine in quite some time. Are the two of you still dating?" Janelle McQueen asked Dennis Johnson. The two friends and co-workers were enjoying a leisurely Friday lunch at a local eatery. Dennis briefly smirked at Janelle's question.
"No. I dumped her last week," he stated while enjoying his double meat with cheese turkey burger.
Janelle asked in disbelief. "Why? What happened?" She thought Dennis and Charmaine were a cute couple.
"For starters, Charmaine always gives one word responses to any question that I ask like - 'Yes,' 'No,' 'Okay.' Or I may get two words like -  'I dunno.'  I got tired of pulling a conversation out of her. And she was too much of a country bumpkin."
"A country bumpkin?"
"Yeah," Dennis replied. "I know I'm not the most smartest guy in the world, but at least meet me half-way mentally and conversationally."
Gauging her friend's tense facial expression, Janelle again asked, "What happened - exactly?"
After he ate an onion ring, Dennis replied, "Well, I asked her for a hug."
"A hug?" Janelle asked, quizzically.
"Yes, a hug. I told her that I'm her boyfriend, and I want a hug. She asked why did I want a hug."
Puzzled, Janelle asked, "And what did you say?" as she thought about ordering a cheesecake for dessert.
"I told her that I like her, and I need a hug. Then, she asked what I was going to do with it."
"Really? That's a strange thing to ask," offered Janelle. She quickly placed an order for a towering cheesecake with two forks when the server returned to their table.
"I thought so, too," Dennis stated after the server had left for the cheesecake order. "She still had no idea why I wanted a hug. I told her it's a normal and warm gesture to share with friends and loved ones."
"And she said?" asked Janelle, taking a long drink of water.
Dennis continued, "Well, Charmaine finally asked me, 'Why do you want a pig?! And who gives a pig to their boyfriend?!' With her deep, country accent and background, she pronounces 'hog' as 'hug.' She thought I wanted a pig."
Janelle laughed hard and silently while Dennis continued, "I should've known we were not going to work out when I went over to Charmaine's house this past summer -  and realized that she was thawing chitterlings on the front porch."

Until next week, keep praising HIS name!
Sir Charles

"Your posts are like a Saturday Night Live skit!" ~ A regular blog reader


Behind Every Dark Cloud - The Critically Acclaimed Novel - The Second Edition is now available at www.xlibris.com - Charles Carroll Lee. Soft cover and ebook.

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