Wednesday, October 24, 2012

It's a Porno-puter!


(Read: It Says Francais)

"This is the Federal Bureau of Investigations. How may I direct your call?" the female agent asked.
"Hello," Dax Jones said into the telephone receiver. "I want to pay the two-hundred dollars to have you unlock my computer screen.
"I beg your pardon, sir," the agent said.
"My computer screen has locked up, and I see your logo and a message that says to pay you two-hundred dollars," Dax replied.
"Sir, you have a computer virus. We have been getting calls like this for quite some time," the agent announced.
"Oh? Okay. Thank you."
"Have a nice day, sir," the agent offered with a soft laugh.

The next day, Dennis Johnson sat at his desk. He was excited that Samuel Harlow, CEO, was on vacation for two weeks from the non-profit agency. So, Dennis spent most of the morning updating his resume and searching for jobs online until someone covered his door way. "Please, don't let that be Mr. Harlow," Dennis mumbled while staring at his computer monitor. Turning toward his office door, the information technologist studied his co-worker.

"Why are you back with your laptop, again?" Dennis asked.
"I got another virus on it. The message from the FBI said that I needed to pay two-hundred dollars to unlock my computer. I called them to pay it, and they said that I had a virus, " Dax replied as he entered Dennis' office.
"The FBI?! What? I just removed a virus the day before yesterday!" Dennis announced in a loud tone.
Removing his laptop from its carrying case, Dax replied. "I know right. Can you get it off - like right now?"  He sat the laptop on Dennis' desk.
"Look, I told you to stay off of those porn sites. They are filled with viruses. Besides, I don't want to look at any more pics of your naked butt that you've been sending out to the whole world," Dennis offered.
"I've only been on one porn site since yesterday," said Dax turning on his laptop.
"One site too many," said Dennis.

After Dax had turned on his laptop, the seal of the FBI appeared on the monitor along with the message that was stated by Dax. Dennis had a thought.
"What made you think that this message from the FBI was real? Can't you see over here on the right hand side that there are advertisements for Walgreen's and CVS pharmacies? Huh? Why would the FBI send you a message with advertisements on it?"
Dax replied, "I don't know. I got scared when I saw the FBI seal."
Noticing something on Dax's laptop, Dennis asked, "What are these white spots and blotches all over your laptop and screen?"
"Huh?"
"Gross!" Dennis shouted as he retrieved a pair of latex gloves and sanitizing wipes from his desk drawer. He made Dax thoroughly disinfect the electronic equipment along with his desk. Dennis continued, "I'm going to have to strip this laptop. Since, you didn't want to pay me the last time - this is my last time helping you."
"Thanks," said Dax.
"You're sitting at home looking at porn and jerking off on the the Internet. You have turned this nice laptop into a "Porno-puter!"

In the meantime, until next week - keep praising HIS name!
Sir Charles

"I have to pray before I read your blog postings." ~ A regular blog reader.

Coming Soon:
Behind Every Dark Cloud
The Critically Acclaimed Novel
The Second Edition

All of my books and ebooks are available at http://www.iuniverse.com/ and http://www.xlibris.com/ - Charles Carroll Lee.

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