(Read: You're Still A Jerk)
"Dennis Johnson, can you come to my office?" Samuel Harlow requested via telephone.
"Sure, I'll be right there," Dennis replied. He began to feel a knot develop deep within his stomach. Dennis returned the receiver to its cradle and marched toward the CEO's office. Dennis prayed that a massive earthquake would strike so that he would not have to endure another encounter with Samuel.
Dennis walked around the absent secretary's desk and tapped on Samuel's partially opened door. He asked, "Yes, sir. What can I help you with?" in an upbeat tone.
"Dennis, you did a very poor job of configuring my Blackberry. It's not working properly. I asked you repeatedly to make sure it's in good working order, and you have failed to do that," Samuel announced.
"What are you talking about?" asked Dennis.
"My Blackberry is not performing spell check," Samuel replied. "It does not correct misspelled words. I have sent out several messages with misspelled words, Dennis Johnson. Now, fix your mistake or else," he continued.
In a fit of rage, Dennis grabbed Samuel around the collar and delivered several punches to his face. He then threw the CEO against the wall over and over again until Samuel fell to the floor.
Interrupting Dennis' thoughts, Samuel asked, "Are you listening to me?"
"Yes, sir," he replied. Dennis was trying to refrain from acting on his violent thoughts. Dennis continued, "Let me see your Blackberry, Mr. Harlow. I'm sure there is a simple answer."
Inspecting the electronic device as though he were a skilled surgeon, Dennis announced, "I see what the problem is."
"Well, what did you do wrong - this time?" asked Samuel.
"I did nothing wrong. You have programmed your Blackberry to the French language after I gave it to you. That's why spell check isn't working. You're typing in English, but your recipients are probably receiving the message in French. See right here?" Dennis asked as he showed the screen to Samuel. "It says Francais. It should say, English. E-N-G-L-I-S-H."
"Oh? How did that happen?"
"You freakin' idiot! How should I know?" he thought. He then said, "I'm sure it was an honest mistake on your part, Mr. Harlow."
"Perhaps, I pushed something by mistake," Samuel replied. "Thanks for helping me."
"Go jump out of the window," Dennis thought. "You're quite welcome, Mr. Harlow," he finally stated. Dennis returned to his office to update his resume.
In the meantime, until next week - keep praising HIS name!
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Behind Every Dark Cloud
The Critically Acclaimed Novel
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