Wednesday, September 19, 2012

You're Still A Jerk

Read: "I'm Glad To Be Of Service (You Jerk!)"

Standing in front of Dennis Johnson's office the next day, Samuel Harlow, CEO, announced, "You didn't do a very good job of fixing my mouse like I thought you did."
"What do you mean, Mr. Harlow? I inserted some 'mouse' batteries into your mouse as you instructed. What happened?" Dennis asked, peering over his eyeglasses.
Samuel replied, "My mouse is broken. Come to my office."

Dennis followed Samuel to his cluttered office. The secretary was still on her lunch break. Samuel sat behind  his desk, turned toward his computer monitor, found a document and covered his mouse with his large hand.

He stated, "Like I mouse is broken. See, when I click the mouse; my thumb hits this little side button. Then things get messed up," as Dennis watched Samuel's every movement.
"Why don't move your thumb so you don't hit that side button? And, you should just left click or either right click on the mouse instead of clicking them both at the same time," Dennis offered.
"That doesn't make much sense, Dennis," Samuel replied. He continued, "This mouse is just broken. I need a new one."
"No,  you don't, sir. You are clicking both sides of the mouse with your fingers, and your thumb is touching the side button. I watched you. That's why nothing is happening on your document.  Would you like for me to order you a brand new wireless mouse? It may be a little easier to use."
"No, damn it! I need a brand new mouse!  This is broken!"
"You friggin' jerk! You don't need a new mouse! You need to left click or right click only or better yet - watch what you are friggin' doing with your fingers! You are getting on my friggin' nerves!" Dennis yelled, internally. He then stated, "Alright, Mr. Harlow. I will get you a brand new mouse by morning," as he strolled out of Samuel's office.

The next morning, Dennis eased into the storage room. He found a computer mouse, wiped it off until it had a soft shine and carried it to Samuel's office. He removed the current mouse and installed the newly found mouse onto the CEO's desktop. The mice were practically identical to one another except for the color. Dennis was glad that the Samuel had not arrived, yet. Later that day, Samuel returned to Dennis' office.

"Thanks, Dennis for the brand new mouse. It's great and works perfectly. I like the color, too. Blue is my favorite. See, I told you that I needed a new one."
Peering over his eyeglasses, Dennis replied, "Oh, you are quite welcome, sir. Will there be anything else?"
"No, just keep up the good work," Samuel replied as he returned to his office.
"You're still a jerk," Dennis thought to himself.

In the meantime, until next week - keep praising HIS name!
Sir Charles

"Your blog postings are like a Sunday morning paper with a cup of coffee." ~ A regular blog reader.

All of my books and ebooks are available at and - Charles Carroll Lee.

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