Monday, September 10, 2012

I'm Glad To Be Of Service (You Jerk!)

"I need some batteries for my desktop mouse," Samuel Harlow, the chief executive officer of a non-profit agency, said to Dennis Johnson immediately after lunch. Samuel prides himself on being a computer geek.
Dennis replied, "Sure, I have some double A batteries in my desk drawer."
"No, you don't understand. Specifically, I need mouse batteries for my mouse - not regular double A batteries," Samuel retorted.
Puzzled, Dennis stated, "Your mouse uses regular batteries, Mr. Harlow."
"No, it does not. All computer mice (assuming the plural for a PC mouse is 'mice' and not 'mouses') use mouse batteries only, Dennis. You know they sell mouse batteries for computer mice," Samuel announced.
"Where did you get that from? Look, you little jerk! I have a bachelor's and a master's degree in information systems technology. There is no such thing as a 'mouse' battery. They generally use regular double A batteries. Yours is one of them. If it did not, I would be one of the first to know. You got that?" Dennis thought to himself. He then said, "Okay, sir. I will install some 'mouse' batteries into your mouse. Will there be anything else?"
In a snappy tone, Samuel replied, "No, that will be all. Please, hurry up and install the mouse battery. I've got some work to do. "
"Will do," replied Dennis.

Dennis marched to his office and sat behind his desk. His chest was heaving from his encounter with the CEO. "You jerk!" he whispered within the confines of his office. Dennis opened his top desk drawer and retrieved a new package of Eveready AA Lithium Batteries. He turned toward his desktop and designed a label that read, "Mouse Batteries." Dennis smoothed the office made label over the unopened package. He then mumbled, "I did a great job in creating this label. This battery package looks almost store bought."

Refusing to have any more encounters with Samuel the CEO, Dennis waited for him to leave the building for his 2:00 p.m. meeting. He eased past the absent secretary's desk and entered Samuel's cluttered office. Dennis sat behind the desk and lifted the mouse from its pad. Removing the back panel, Dennis picked out the old double A batteries with his fingers and inserted the brand new Eveready AA Lithium Batteries into the device. He replaced the back panel and left the office made battery package on Samuel's desk. Dennis returned to his office to complete some work related projects.

Later that afternoon, Samuel stood in front of Dennis' office with a smug expression on his face. He had a statement to make.

"Dennis, my mouse is working just perfectly. See, I told you that it uses only mouse batteries. And, you have found some as well," Samuel replied as he held the office made battery package. He continued, "Thank you very much."
"You're welcome, sir. I'm glad to be of service," Dennis replied.

In the meantime, until next week - keep praising HIS name!
Sir Charles

All of my books and ebooks are available at and - Charles Carroll Lee.

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