Wednesday, July 11, 2012

We're Having A Heat Wave! (Season Finale)

I guess it is no surprise that most of the United States has been under a heat wave. During the hot, humid and sticky weather; I thought about elementary school and spending some summer days at my grandparents house. Back in those days, the school buildings were not air-conditioned nor were my grandparent's home. The classrooms had high ceilings, large lights that hung from the ceiling that generated massive amounts of heat and thick shades adorned the windows.

One particular humid day in early June after lunch and recess; Mrs. Woodard instructed her fourth grade class to have a seat. We all obeyed her command. She turned off the lights and walked to each window to pull down the heavy shades. Mrs. Woodward further commanded that we make paper fans to cool ourselves and to remain quite for the rest of the day. Her thinking was that if we talked too much that it will increase the room temperature - making it that much hotter. Some of us asked for permission to place a cold, wet paper towel on our forehead to which she obliged.

So, there we were; a bunch of fourth graders sitting in a semi-dark room; fanning with homemade paper fans and holding a cold compress on our heads. Those were the good old days. After leaving school, I made my normal trip to Mother Gertrude and Papa's hot house. Actually, it felt like a sauna. I didn't say anything back then because I was only nine-years old and wasn't paying any bills. Mother Gertrude had the draperies drawn to block out the noon day sun; and Papa had turned on a large, green electric fan and placed it in the middle of the family room. Well, the fan was just circulating hot air - that was it. But, it still feels like the good old days.

Just last week, while sitting at my desk at work and listening to my co-workers complain about the oppressive heat; I thought I felt the building shake.
"It's another earthquake!" Denny Crown announced.
"Where are my keys, straw hat and cell phone?" I thought to myself.
Finding my belongings while Denny Crown looked out the window to see what was going on; my immediate thought was to take shelter underneath my desk.
"I think the earthquake is over, Charles," Denny offered.
"Thank goodness. A heat wave - now an earthquake," I said.

Minutes later while waiting for my print job to complete in the copy room, Yolanda Scruggs arrived. She looked at me with a few thoughts in her eyes.

"What's going on, Yolanda?"
"I was on the phone a few minutes ago," she answered.
"Well, I was standing up when the phone rang; then I decided to sit down," replied Yolanda.
"The chair rolled away from me as I was sitting down....don't laugh, Charles."
"What happened?"
"I fell on the floor."
Holding back a laugh, I said, "You know what?"
"I felt the building shake a few minutes ago. I had grabbed my straw hat, keys and cell phone and started to hide underneath my desk. I thought we were having an earthquake. That was you?"
"With every fiber of my being; I hate you...."


Thursday, July 26th will mark one-year of blog writing with well over 11,000 pageviews. I want to thank each of you for reading, smiling and sharing my postings. I am going to take a short hiatus and will return on Wednesday, August 1, 2012. In the meantime, I will repost two of the most popular blog postings over the next couple of Wednesdays.

Keep praising HIS name. Peace and Blessings Always!
Sir Charles

All of my books and ebooks are available at and - Charles Carroll Lee. They will also make for some nice summer readings. Just saying...)

Wednesday, July 4, 2012

The Fourth of July (The Fire Is Going To Fall On My Head)

(Year: Circa 1970's)

"Auuuuugggghhhh!" I screamed at the stop of my lungs while sitting on Daddy's shoulders. "Put me on the ground."
"Boy, what's wrong with you?" Daddy asked as we stood outdoors. He then consented to my request.
"Make it stop, Daddy!  It's going to fall on me!" I responded as I grabbed his leg with both arms.
"It can't hurt you," Daddy had reassured.
"Auuuuuugggghhhh!" I screamed again. "All this noise! And the explosions! The fire is going to fall on my head!"
Trying to hold back a smile, Daddy replied, "No, it's not. It's not fire. You don't like this?
"Hell no!" I thought. I continued, "I said, it's going to fall on my head and burn me up. Mom is going to be real, real mad at you, if that happens."

Seconds later, we heard several explosions in rapid succession. I screamed once more; held onto Daddy's leg for dear life and may have even fainted. I recited the Lord's Prayer while believing that the entire world was coming to a dramatic and explosive end.

Disappointed, Daddy asked, "Well, are you ready to go home?"
"Hell yeah!" was my desired reply. Instead, I replied, "Yes."

Fast forward years later:

My lovely and playful five-year-old niece, Noir asked, "Guess where I've been?" as she sat next to me on the sofa.
"I give up. Where?" I asked while channel surfing on the television set.
"To see the fireworks on the military base for the Fourth of July. Oh, and Granddaddy is fixing me a sandwich, too," Noir replied all at once.
"The two of you went to see the fireworks? What kind of sandwich?" I asked with a touch of disappointment in my voice.
"Yes, we went to see the fireworks. It was fun, too. Grandaddy is making me a sardine sandwich. Want one?"
"Why wasn't I invited to see the fireworks? And, hell no to the sandwich idea. It's just nasty," I responded.
Releasing a laugh, Noir replied, "Granddaddy said that you are scared of the fireworks. He took you to see them a long time ago, and you screamed and held onto his leg the entire time. Did you faint for real?"
"He wasn't suppose to tell you that. I was five or six - maybe seven when Daddy took me to see the fireworks. No, I did not faint. And, what is Grandaddy putting in the sardine sandwich?" I replied mixing the truth with some lies.
"How old are you, now?" asked Noir.
"I'm seventeen," I replied. "What's the recipe?"
After some thought, Noir replied, "Well, if you play Candy Land or Uno with me. I'll tell you what's in the sardine sandwich. He's in the kitchen fixing it, right now."
Sighing, I answered, "You always cheat at board games and cards; but okay. Brush your teeth after you eat that sandwich. I can only imagine what your Granddaddy put in it. And your whole head may explode like the Fourth of July fireworks after you eat it, too."

If you have a fondness for sardines and/or find them delicious (for some strange reason); leave me a nice comment (more than two would be amazing), and I will share Daddy's sardine sandwich recipe on next week.

Happy Independence Day!
Until next week....Keep praising HIS name!
Sir Charles

All of my books and ebooks are available at and - Charles Carroll Lee. They will also make for some nice summer readings. Just saying...)