Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Can't You Marry Someone Else?

"Can we renew our wedding vows?" Roger asked Samantha.
"What was so special about the first wedding to make you think I would want to relive that episode?" asked Samantha.
After a brief moment, Roger replied, "Our anniversary is coming up, and I thought it would be a good idea to recommit ourselves.
"Commit ourselves to a mental hospital," Samantha mumbled as she turned the page of her fashion magazine. She then asked aloud, "Do you remember the first one?"
"What kind of question is that? Of course, I remember," replied Roger sitting next to Samantha on the love seat.
"All I remember thinking was that if I ever get through this ceremony, I would never do this again," offered Samantha.
"What do you mean?"
"Let me refresh your memory, Roger Brewer. Do you remember that suit you were wearing?"
"Yeah. What was wrong with it?" asked Roger.
"It was a light blue, pin-stripped leisure suit. And you wore a pair of sneakers," replied Samantha.
Roger asked, "What was wrong with it? You kept asking me 'Is that what you're wearing?'"
"It was just plain ol' ugly, Roger. That's why I kept asking you that question," replied Samantha. She continued, "And I was dressed in a peach colored dress with a pair of low-heeled shoes because I didn't want to tower over you too much. I'm not going to even mention that I didn't have a bouquet."

Studying his wife as she continued to turn the pages of the magazine, Roger asked, "You wanted a bouquet?"
"Duh! Yes!"
"Oh. Well, you wanna go straight to the honeymoon since we didn't have one?"
"Why? Honeymoons are for making babies. And we already had two children when we got married."
Roger offered, "We sure did. Roger Junior and Paula."

Releasing a sigh, Samantha said," I remember Roger Junior working part-time at Domino's Pizza and bringing home two pepperoni pizzas for our wedding reception. He said it was for me and my new husband. I guess that pizza was supposed to replace a wedding cake. Just saying."

Reminiscing about his wedding to Samantha in her tiny apartment, Roger had another question. "What was up with your granddaddy?"
"He wanted to know what in the heck was I thinking," Samantha replied.
"My granddaddy asked me, 'Can't you marry someone else?' over and over again with a pistol in his hand. I told him, 'No, I am going to marry Roger Brewer.'"
"Oh yeah? It was too late to have a shotgun wedding. Both of our kids had some size on them by then. What was he going to do with that pistol?"
Samantha said, "Shoot you. But, after much conversation; I talked him out of it. That was your wedding present from me."
"Oh. So, we're not going to renew our wedding vows?"
"No. I can't bear to see you in another leisure suit and sneakers, again. Much less have someone show up with a pistol in hand."

Until next week....keep praising HIS name!
Sir Charles

(All of my books and ebooks are available at and - Charles Carroll Lee. They will also make for some nice summer readings. Just saying...)

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