Wednesday, April 18, 2012
Debbie Downer - The Conclusion of "A Bitter Betty"
And just when we thought the night could not get any better than this entertainment, one of the honorees stood at her table and sashayed to the podium to receive her Waterford Crystal Trophy Bowl. Shawntae' Goodwine, slender in build with soft, delicate features and a new nose according to Delana Crawford, stood next to the Mistress of Ceremonies. Shawntae was being honored for her community service work and being an extraordinary example of good womanhood.
The Mistress of Ceremonies read a long list of Shawntae's accomplishments and other awards to those in attendance. She smiled with glee. Delana said to no one in particular, "She sure looks strange, today." Kathy Jones reluctantly agreed. Following the reading of her long biography, Shawntae was offered the opportunity to make a few remarks after receiving her engraved trophy bowl. One would have thought that Shawntae' had won the Miss Universe Pageant. She cleared her throat and began to thank those in attendance. Delana's brows drew closer together during Shawntae's speech.
"I had no idea that her voice was so thick, deep and heavy," Delana whispered to her table guests.
"It sure is. And she's so tall, too," offered Kathy in a similar whisper.
"Well, she is an example of good womanhood. I guess the two of you should take notice," said Irving.
"Hmphf, she ain't all that," Kathy said.
"For once this evening; I agree with you, Kathy," said Delana.
Laughing out loud, Irving said, "Look at this...you two are a 'Bitter Betty' and a 'Debbie Downer'. This is supposed to be a fun occasion."
"Irving, behave yourself," Delana said with a soft laugh.
Shawntae' began to close her acceptance speech and then took a brief pause. She surveyed the grand ballroom. The honoree had one more thing to add to the evening.
In her husky voice, she said, "I have one more thing to say to each of you.. I am one of the esteemed honorees for this evening, and I am more woman than any of you women will ever be. I am an example of a good woman. I even have a Waterford Crystal Trophy Bowl to prove it," to the gasps of the attendees. Shawntae continued, "And furthermore.... (She lifted her slender arm in the air and pulled her reddish brown wig off of her head to reveal a low cut fade. Shawntae then lifted her beaded gown to her chest to reveal a pair of white underwear with a "bulge" and a hairy abdomen.)....I am a dude!"
Gasps and laughter erupted across the ballroom. The Mistress of Ceremonies fainted as camera flashes lit the room.
Slapping her hands on the table, Delana said, "I knew it! I just knew it!" as we all laughed silently.
"Girl, you ain't know nothing," Kathy said to Delana.
"Yes, I did, too!" offered Delana.
Kathy said, "Next year, the Committee probably needs to look under those dresses to see the "goodies" before bestowing an award for good womanhood. Shawntae should've at least shaved her stomach...or 'his' stomach."
Until next week...keep praising HIS name!
(All of my books and ebooks are available at http://www.iuniverse.com/ and http://www.xlibris.com/ - Charles Carroll Lee. They will make for some nice summer readings. Just saying...)