Wednesday, March 21, 2012

It's Poison Ivy

Next month, it will be time for my annual eye exam. I know it may not be exciting news to you. But, I look forward to spending about twenty minutes with the doctor that I've known since my final year of college. Dr. Robinson fitted me with my first pair of contact lenses - just in time for graduation. Wearing my new contact lenses, I had participated in the baccalaureate and graduation exercises blinking a mile a minute. Plus, I had the hardest time putting those lenses on my eyes. I would close them up and stick the lenses on the eyelids. Now, I am an old pro in putting on contact lenses, Back in the day, Dr. Robinson was slender in build with black hair pulled into a small pony tail and fresh out of ophthalmology school. Now, he has a little weight on his frame and his hair has turned gray. Since he is now a husband and a father of three, four or five, (I can't remember), Dr. Robinson sports a more conservative haircut. With this in mind, the doctor is quick to point out that I had a full head of hair when we first met.

During one office visit after I had to experience that puff of air in both eyes and escorted to the exam room without my contact lenses, I sat in a comfortable leather exam chair. It reminded me of a chair from "Star Trek" or "The Jetsons." Before, I had gotten comfortable in the chair, I had studied the high-tech eye chart on the wall. I wanted the eye doctor to think that I now had 20/20 vision. He would have exclaimed, "It's a miracle!" After a few minutes, I heard a tap on the partially open door. Dr. Robinson peeked in and entered the semi-dark room. For a man as young as he, the doctor was shuffling like an elderly gentleman.

"Why are you walking so slowly?" I asked after our usual pleasantries.
"Well, do you remember that I bought a farm, last year?" asked Dr. Robinson.
I replied, "Yes, I do."
"This past Saturday, I was doing some yard work around the barn. Pulling weeds, mowing the grass and that sort of stuff. Then, I had to use the bathroom. The house was so far away, and I couldn't make it there in time. So, I went into the bushes and pulled "it" out  and held "it" as I relieved myself. You know, I wasn't wearing gloves when I was pulling weeds. After that, I broke out in a rash with some swelling "down there," Dr. Robinson offered.
"Really," I said in amazement.
"Yeah, I went to the doctor because it was bothering me and "it" began to swell real bad. My doctor said that it's poison ivy! I have to put some cream on 'it' " he said.
Trying not to laugh, I said, "I'm sorry to hear that. Your wife must be disappointed."
"Not really. She's glad that it's now big and swollen," Dr. Robinson offered as a matter of fact.

I laughed aloud at Dr. Robinson's last statement. He then said, "You know I saw you trying to memorize the eye chart on the wall. So, I have a surprise for you..."

Now, if I can get at least two nice comments this week, I will publish the rest of this blog post on Wednesday.

Until next week...keep praising His name!
Sir Charles

(My books and ebooks are available at and - Charles Carroll Lee)


  1. Why do they have to be nice comments Charles? Won't snarky ones do as well? (Actually, it was very funny, but poison ivy "down there" is no laughing matter....)

  2. You left me hanging dude. You and your opthy - TMI. But, no matter, I enjoyed your story. So does this count as one of the 2 nice comments required? If so, please proceed. I want to find out how the wise doc thwarted your plans to cheat the eye test.