Wednesday, March 28, 2012

I Have A Surprise For You - Part 2 of "It's Poison Ivy!"

After I had laughed aloud at Dr. Robinson's last statement. He then said, "You know I saw you trying to memorize the eye chart on the wall. So, I have a surprise for you."
"What do you mean?" I asked, very innocently.
Dr. Robinson replied, "After I had finished with my last patient, I walked past this room and saw you memorizing the chart on the wall."
"Oh," I offered.
"So, your surprise is...I'm going to make you read the chart that I use for my 2 year old patients that can't read, yet," he said. The doctor took a seat on a stool with wheels next to me.
With a mild state of panic in my voice, I asked, "What?"
"You heard me. I'm going to use the chart with the birthday cake and candles," said Dr. Robinson as he moved the huge, black eye exam apparatus in front of my face. He continued, "Now, you should see several birthday cakes with candles on top of them. Look at the first cake. How many candles do you see?"
Trying not to laugh, I asked, "How many candles do you see?"
"Charles," the eye doctor replied.
"Okay. I see some candles," I said. "They're blurry, though," I mumbled.
"How many?"
"Four," I wildly guessed.
"Let's look at the next cake. How many candles do you see?" asked Dr. Robinson.
"Two," I guessed again.
"Now, let's look at the next one. How many?"
"Hell, I dunno," I mumbled. I then said aloud, "Three."

The doctor pushed the apparatus to the side and said, "Charles, you are as blind as a bat. But, you have a healthy pair of eyes."  Dr. Robinson slid three feet on his stool toward his work station and scribbled some information on my chart. I then had a question.

"May I have a prescription for eyeglasses, please?"
"Why do you need eyeglasses? You wear contact lenses all of the time."
"Well, I like to wear eyeglasses at night when I go to bed," I replied.
With a puzzled look on his boyish face, Dr. Robinson repeated, "At night when you go to bed?"
"Yes," I replied.
"Well, you don't need your eyeglasses on when you are asleep, Charles," the eye doctor offered.
"Yes, I do. I like to see what I'm dreaming at night. I don't like for my dreams to be blurry," I replied.

Burying his head in my chart and trying to contain his laughter, Dr. Robinson wrote me a prescription for contact lenses AND eyeglasses, and then we said our goodbyes until next year. He then shuffled out of the exam room hoping that the poison ivy would quickly heal - "down there."

Until next week....keep praising HIS name!
Sir Charles

(All of my books and ebooks are available at and - Charles Carroll Lee. They will make for some nice summer readings. Just saying...)

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