Wednesday, February 1, 2012

I Need My Teeth!

Lorna had her few remaining teeth extracted and then purchased a set of dentures or "false teeth" as she calls them. Her family and friends had hardly recognized Lorna with a full set of teeth. When they saw her approaching, the normal question was, "Lorna? Is that you? You even talk and look better, now." She always removed them at night before bedtime so that she can have a more restful sleep. Now, excited about her new set of choppers, Lorna decided to lose a few pounds and take a trip to Costa Rica with two of her dearest friends. She has been dreaming of this trip for a few years. No one understood why Lorna really wanted to go to Costa Rica. She cannot speak a word of Spanish even if her life depended on it. Lorna's general response was, "I have always enjoyed learning about Spanish culture. I believe my great-grandmother was Spanish." After Lorna had lost twenty-five pounds, found a travel agent and obtained her passport; she told her parents about her long awaited trip and gave them the itinerary.

So, Lorna and friends hopped on a plane and made connecting flights until they reached their destination. The three ladies did some shopping, sight-seeing, snapped pictures, ate, and drank until their hearts were content. On the last night of their trip and all packed to head back to the United States, Lorna removed her dentures before retiring. Her friends were tucked away in their own rooms. When she awoke the next morning, Lorna released a loud wail and immediately went into hysteria mode. She could not find her "false teeth" anywhere. She called her friends and then the front desk. No one was able to understand her without her teeth.

The hotel staff had alerted the authorities that there was a "crazy American woman" in the building and help was urgently needed. Several minutes later, Lorna's mass hysteria was briefly interrupted by a knock on the door.

"Yes! May I help you?" she garbled to the dark-haired man who spoke fluent English. He was accompanied by another gentleman.
"I'm sorry. Can you repeat that? I cannot understand you. My name is Luis Santiago, and this is Diego Soto.
Interrupting, Lorna garbled, "I can't find my teeth! I need my teeth! My teeth!"
Showing their identifications, Luis continued, "I still cannot understand you. We are from the sanitarium. We heard that you may be ummmmm....unbalanced. And you are scaring the hotel staff and guests. We can help you."
Running around the room searching for her teeth like a chicken with her head cut off, Lorna continued to shout, "My teeth! My teeth! Where are they!"
Unnerved, Luis said, "Come with us, senora. We insist."
"Come where? I need my teeth! I lost them!" Lorna said, incoherently.
"We are going to take a little trip and give you some medication," offered Luis.

So, Lorna was dragged kicking and screaming incoherently by the professionals from the sanitarium. Her two friends were completely helpless and needed to catch the last flight to the United States. They had promised to tell her parents about the ordeal. Lorna was placed in a straight jacket and given a mild sedative during her brief stay in a Costa Rican sanitarium.

A few days later, Lorna's father managed to have her release because he had some friends that worked "high" places. Lorna still cannot remember what she did with her "false teeth." But, she swore to never take them out before bedtime again!

Until next week...Keep praising His name,
Sir Charles

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