Sunday, January 8, 2012

"My Car Don't Understand...."

Roger Brewer had been fooling around with the features on his brand new 2012 Hyundai Sonata. His biggest headache was the car's integrated blue tooth system. Roger was just having a difficult time of getting the system to obey his every command. So, one day he decided to disconnect the system and to his and his wife's, Samantha's, surprise the four-door sedan refused to start.

Samantha asked in a light soprano voice, "Why in the heck did you do that? You are not a mechanic."
"I know, I ain't. But, this car ain't doing what I'm telling it to. I thought I'd reset it," replied Roger.

Once Roger reconnected the blue tooth system, he decided to give it a retest. Samantha took her place on the front passenger's side of the car. She was still a little miffed that their grandson was allowed to eat in the new vehicle, but she could not enjoy that same privilege. Now, Samantha wanted to see how well Roger had reconnected the blue tooth system.

Samantha said, "Go ahead and give it a command."
"I wanna talk to Jerome!" Roger shouted toward the console.
"You have to tell her which Jerome," offered Samantha
"Please, give me a command," the recorded voice instructed.
"I said - I wanna talk to my brother, Jerome Brewer!" Roger repeated.
"Please hold," the recorded voice requested.

Moments later, music from the satellite radio station, 1240 AM, filled the car. Samantha began to laugh and Roger released some expletives. Previously, when Roger informed the system that he wanted to talk to Jerome, it had connected him to his daughter-in-law's father, Jerome Jones in Milwaukee, and not his brother, Jerome Brewer. Roger had called Jerome Jones so many times that he called Samantha to ask if Roger was "okay" and should he call 9-1-1. "I'm just worried about Roger calling me a half-dozen times a day and then hanging up," he had told Samantha. Thinking about her call from Jerome Jones and laughing to herself, Roger had a question.

"What's so funny," he asked.
"You. And that wasn't a command," Samantha offered. She continued, "Try it again."
"Now, I wanna speak to my son, Roger Junior," Roger shouted toward the console.
"Please, give me a command," the recorded voice instructed.
Samantha interrupted, "Roger, you have to say - 'Call' or 'Dial' - then give her the area code plus the telephone number. Or tell her to 'Dial' Roger Junior like its listed in your cell phone."
Roger retorted, "No, I don't got to do that." Redirecting his attention toward the console, he repeated, "Lemme speak with my son, Roger Junior."
"Please hold," the recorded voice requested.

Moments later, more music from the 1240 AM radio station filled the car. Samantha laughed while Roger released some new expletives. After she had collected herself, Samantha said, "Well, at least everyone has the same radio station."  She then had an idea.

"Roger, let me try," Samantha offered.
"What? Okay. Go 'head and try," Roger said.
Clearing her throat, Samantha said toward the console in her light soprano voice, "Call Rog....."
Interrupting his wife's command, Roger said, "She ain't gonna be able to understand yo' squeaky voice."
"Well, obviously she doesn't understand your ghetto voice, either. You are sitting over there 'macking' and she still doesn't understand a word you are saying. You have to use the proper commands and speak clearly and distinctly with proper English, Roger."
Frustrated, Roger said, "C'mon. I'm taking this car back to the shop so they can fix it!"
"Huh? The car isn't broken," Samantha said.
"Yeah, but the blue tooth system is," said Roger.

Later that afternoon, Mr. and Mrs. Roger Brewer, Senior arrived at the car dealership and entered the service department. Samantha figured that this would be a good time for her to vanish into thin air. They were kindly greeted by Jim Nelson, service manager. Caucasian, with a solid build and a head full of gray hair, Jim extended his warm hand to Samantha and then to Roger. His team members of various races were nearby completing paperwork and assisting other customers.

"How may I help the two of you?" asked Jim in an upbeat tone.
"My blue tooth system is broke," replied Roger.
"Exactly, what is happening?" Jim asked for clarification.
"Well, it don't understand black people," replied Roger.
With giggling from his team members in the background, Jim asked, "Can you please repeat that?"
"Every time I give it a command, it starts playin' the radio station," replied Roger. He continued, "My blue tooth system don't understand me. Can you make it understand black people?" asked Roger.

The service team members all broke into hysterical laughter and some ran into the showroom. Samantha hung her head in disbelief as a few customers turned their heads for a hard chuckle.

Jim, now red in the face, said, "Man, I'm sorry and I cannot help it, and I cannot hold it in much longer. But, I just gotta laugh!" So, Jim laughed for several minutes all while dialing one of his mechanics.

A thin mechanic finally arrived to get a better understanding of the problem, and said to Roger, "A few customers have reported some command problems with the integrated blue tooth system. I think that I can make some adjustments for you." The mechanic then thought to himself, "But, it's not a black thing, though."

So, Roger Brewer said to Samantha and Jim Nelson, "See, I told y'all that my car don't understand black people."

Until next week...Keep praising His name!
Sir Charles

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